Torn

In less than two weeks, we'll be sleeping in our new home in New Hampshire. I'm torn about whether I should be full of joy or mired in sadness. For the most part, my brain can't slow down enough to focus on saying good-bye, because it's too busy processing to-do lists and strategizing ways to get six people through the next month until we're unpacked.

Part of me is in denial about leaving the city we've called home for almost four years. It's been a grand adventure, but I feel like we haven't experienced the Southwest enough yet! I still have a long list of hikes that I want to tackle and so many places I'd like to see. I wanted to take my two youngest to the Pacific Ocean, I wanted to go to Mexico and I wanted to go to Utah again. I think that no matter how long I lived in a place, I would always have a list of things that were left undone; it's just part of my nature to want to experience things to the fullest. There's an ache in my heart for the friends that we will miss.

On the other hand, I am looking forward to returning to our roots in New England. I'm feeling overwhelmed by the house purchase and finances, but there are a lot of things I miss about the Northeast. I'm sure that we have many exciting adventures awaiting us, our families are anxious for us to return and I want my grandparents to meet my little ones. I can't wait to fall back into the rhythm of the seasons, especially having a real autumn, which I have missed terribly. I know that the coming years are going to be full of wonder as we introduce our little ones to gardening, deciduous forests and the Atlantic. My heart is bursting with the thought of being an hour from my ocean!

Las Vegas has been good to us and that makes it difficult for me to be completely at peace with how this new chapter of our life is unfolding. Our new home is big enough for our Southwest friends to come visit and hopefully we will be able to visit here, as well.